Boost Your Confidence By Avoiding These Power Busting Habits

It's not uncommon for people to want to feel more confident. 

Whether they want to pursue big goals at work or feel more fulfilled in their personal lives, the desire to feel stronger and more powerful in the face of challenges is something that most people will want to achieve at one point or another. 

Feeling powerful is about trusting yourself, making choices that reflect your values, and living in a way that feels right for you. In the counseling world, we call this congruence, which is a fancy way of saying that your life lines up with what you believe. But being incongruent is a common, although unspoken reason why many people come into our office. They say, "something doesn't feel right" and what we often find is that there are lots of little ways that we get out of alignment and feel less powerful day to day. 

These habits that come on so gradually can leave you feeling drained, stuck, or unsure of yourself. The good news is that once you become aware of them, you can begin to shift them. You don’t need to make big changes overnight. Even small adjustments in your choices and mindset can help you reconnect with your power and feel more in control of your life. Take a look at 5 of these that may be wreaking havoc on your confidence and self-esteem.

Saying “Yes” When You Mean “No”

You may say yes to things you don’t want to do just to keep others happy. At first, it might feel easier than dealing with someone’s disappointment. But every time you say yes when you really mean no, you are giving up your time, energy, and comfort. Over time, this can lead to resentment or burnout.

You may even forget what your real preferences are. Saying no does not make you difficult or selfish. It shows that you respect yourself. Practice checking in with what you truly want before you agree to anything. You are allowed to choose what works best for you.

Ignoring Your Gut Instinct

Your gut instinct is one of your most powerful tools. It helps you sense what feels right or wrong, even when you can’t fully explain it. But you may have been taught to ignore it. You might second-guess yourself or look for outside opinions instead of listening to your own voice.

Over time, when you ignore your instinct, you disconnect from your inner guidance. This makes it harder to trust yourself. The more you pause and listen to what you feel, the stronger that inner voice becomes. Start by paying attention to your first response, even if you don’t act on it right away.

Seeking Constant Validation From Others

It is normal to want support or encouragement from people you care about. But if you rely on others to feel confident or make decisions, you are giving away your power. When you look outside yourself for approval, you lose touch with what you really think and feel. You may begin to doubt your own judgment. Reclaiming your power means learning to value your own opinion.

Social media has made this easier to do and harder to avoid, so you do need to be intentional about this not becoming your habit. You can still ask for input, but remind yourself that your voice matters most. The more you trust your own thoughts, the less you’ll need constant reassurance from anyone else.

Overcommitting Your Time and Energy

Are you always the first to volunteer and last to leave when you do? You might think being helpful or productive means saying yes to everything, but overcommitting is one of the quickest ways to lose your sense of control. When your schedule is packed and your energy is stretched thin, there is no room left for what matters to you. You stop checking in with your needs and begin living on autopilot.

Personal power means protecting your time and being intentional about where your energy goes. Start by saying no to one thing that feels unnecessary. Even small boundaries can help you feel more focused, present, and in charge of your day.

Downplaying Your Needs and Desires

This is one that can be very sneaky, especially if you are naturally in a caregiver role. You may feel pressure to put others first or to stay quiet about what you want. Over time, this can lead to frustration and self-neglect. When you act like your needs don’t matter, you start believing that they don’t. You also teach others to treat you the same way. Honoring your needs is not selfish.

It is a form of self-respect. Whether it’s asking for space, setting limits, or choosing something just for yourself, your desires are valid. Give yourself permission to take up space and speak up. The more you practice this, the more confident and empowered you will feel.